Nigerian President Yaradua suffers massive stroke

The President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, Umaru Musa Yar’Adua is severely brain damaged and suffering from a severe stroke, it has been authoritatively confirmed. Previously, it had been reported that he was dead.

This was largely due to the fact that ever since he arrived at the King Faisal Hospital in Jeddah, he had been in an unusual coma in which he lay on bed the entire day with his eyes closed which led to some staff thinking the President was actually dead. However, it has been confirmed that the first family has bribed staff of the Hospital not to give information to the media about the true state of the President´s health.

The President of Nigeria has been bedridden since November 23 2009 and has not spoken a word since then. He spends his entire day on bed, staring blankly on the ceiling. Even though his wife, Turai has been by his side, he is said to hardly recognize her and sometimes just stares at her blankly as if she is ghost. 

I don´t think your president can ever rule that country again. He is as good as dead,´ said a nurse at the Hospital who is close to Hodderway Books. 

He has not said a word since he came in here. For the first two weeks, he just lay still in bed and did not wake up for days. We were so sure that he was dead and that the doctors were hiding something from us. He is not dead but he is seriously brain damaged. I don´t think he´ll make it,´ she said.

Also, the President is said to be suffering from much more than one ailment. ´He may have Lung cancer as well,´ our source said. ´For some reason the doctor has been secretive about the health of the President.´ The president is known to be a chain smoker.

Meanwhile, it has been confirmed that the phone call in which the President supposedly called the BBC to confirm that he will return to the country when his heath got better was a prank call. According to an anonymous source in the Information technology department of the Presidency office, the first lady and close friends of the presidency used voice-morphing software in which one of the president´s childhood friends spoke to the BBC in the guise of the president. The Nigerian ruler has not said a word in the last three months. Not even to Turai. He is in such a terrible condition that the first lady has been making frantic efforts to ensure that nobody sees him in the state he is in.

Meanwhile, last week the Nigerian Parliament sent a delegation of five members of Parliament to see the ailing leader. However, the five were reportedly denied seeing the President as the Hospital staff was under strict instructions from the First lady not to allow anyone see the President in his deplorable state.

Vice President Goodluck Jonathan was declared acting President last week by the Oil-producing nation.