Elombah
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Christmas, modern Nigerian Wedding and Mealboss Jollof rice

My brother, before I proceed let me confess that there is nothing as good as getting the right position in a wedding, if you know what I mean, “wink wink”. How can you explain this kind of blessing that in less than a minute I took my sit at this “correct” position, my plate of rice was served. I did not waste time to start doing justice to the damn thing. As if they knew they were up for some beauty contest, they mixed jollof and fried rice. I quickly put on my testing cap on and dug into the meal. Few minutes down the line, the “made in china” inscription on the plate was visible for all my table mates to see.
As if it was a script, a pretty dark lady came by after a few minutes and started taking pictures. This time not of guests but of my “made in china”. I understood the purpose, got her by my side as I took interest in the idea around using empty plates as a show of her good works. She introduced herself as the CEO of Mealboss catering services as we got talking about the concept. I let her know about my passion for Jollof rice and commended her for the great experience I just enjoyed eating her meal. We agreed to hook up after the wedding to talk about this essay.I will tell you what we talked about, but let me first mention other things that happened at the wedding.
By the time we had finished the first course (boy, they continued serving food there until we left) it was time for the couple to dance into the hall. First were my relatives for whom we came to bless their daughters union, then the groom’s parents with one guy that looked so much like a colleague of mine representing the father. It turned out the guy sat right by my side and I chatted him up immediately,asking whether he worked at a certain place, he answered in the negative. I asked whether his kids attends a particular school,”Mba” (Negative). Where do you live? I enquired in a bid to nail this face down. Lagos, he responded. He confirmed indeed that a number of people had asked him the same thing. It turned out he was the in-law to the groom and had come all the way from Lagos to attend the wedding with his entire family. He went on to introduce me to all of them,starting from the wife whom he proudly said he married all the way from Akwete in Abia state, Nigeria. I thought and told my Olori that I bet he is a “tuzaquin” like me.
The couples dance into the reception was right after we had finished eating. I think they timed it to make sure we had the energy to stand up and watch them dance because indeed “dance” they showcased. The guys at the front would have wondered what took the couple so long to come through to the front. The babe and the guy rocked like dancing was going to be banned by Saraki before the 2019 elections. Come and see this babe buggy down, with the guy matching her step for step. And the sexy style of movement did not help matters,Chai! As if she knew what she was doing to the crowd, she stayed there for the camera’s and crowd for a while, wining her waist like “Flavour na Abania” and rolling it down as the guy closed in to the lap dance. With the “so many” beautiful single sisters in that room, it took the spirit of self control to manage ones neck movement and even more frustrating when you know you are been watched. The watching was all over as I later learnt that one of my relatives (ndi nne maama) complained that the bride’s second dress was too short. She started by saying that she hoped whom she was seeing was not the bride. Then like joke, like joke, she said “Okwaya oh!” (She is the one oh) as the bride took to the dance floor again in this sweet pink flowery dress that got all the paparazzi out again.
So it was time to cut the cake and this MC asked the audience whether we can use Buubuu’s name to cut the cake. Come and see the “neeeee” and the MC had to choose the name above every other name everyone could connect with (Jesus) as the food and drinks continued to flow like the rivers of running water. The flowing was so much that one of the waiters approached my relative on our table and begged to taste some of our wine. Incredible things happen here in Naija. We had to oblige the guy and he bent down a little and drank from the cup as he held his service tray on his left hand. I had to take a picture of this “Glenfiddich” this guy longed for so much that he had to beg guests he was serving for a sip!
Just about closing, I caught up with the Mealboss CEO again as we shared our passion for Jollof rice, and I promised her I will tell my audience especially those in Port Harcourt about her exploits. So if you have a wedding coming soon or any party at all especially if you are in Port Harcourt, you are better off giving her a shout @ 08033136147. She comes highly recommended by www.peterobidike.com if it has to do with Jollof rice. No better time to have come across this Master Chef than Christmas, the festival of rice.
Merry Christmas and do have a prosperous new year everyone.
Peter Obidike wrote from www.peterobidike.com and p_obidike@yahoo.com
Saturday 22nd December 2018

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