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Enyinnaya Abaribe And Other Stories

By Tiamiyu Idris Olawale

“Who asks a democratically elected president to resigned and be stoned? Abaribe?”

“YES!.. one PDP senator in the east.”

“Well, Let him produce the fugitive IPOB LEADER he stood surety for.”

“And don’t take him serious anyways…”


“He’s not even a voice that commands the throngs!”

“Ha! why again?”

“You can’t be associated with KANU and have sense.”

“Well WALE, come and be going!”

“Ok. But before you push me outside, check out IPOB members.”

“But how’s that related to someone that thinks the government has failed and hence calls for his resignation?”

“Hmmmn….. and you think his resignation will be a deus ex machina to the problem?”

“Yes now! when he’s incompetent and clueless!”

“And that’s why we should stone him? A Nigeria’s president o for that matter, not Igbo’s president, Yoruba’s president but NIGERIA. NOT even Ekweremadu oo!”

“See… it seems you’re not in NIGERIA if we start to stone him now, he will realize the need for his resignation and heed to the people’s call.”

“Wait my friend, people’s call or ABARIBE’s call?”

“People’s call of course!”

“Well, Abaribe’s solitude in such subversive call and his comments is not a reflection of the greater Nigerian minds.”

“See WALE! forget this thing you are saying. I tell you, he’s speaking the minds of million Nigerians.”

“Well, maybe minds of jobless IPOB members and his extended family!”

“WHOLE NIGERIANS WALE! can’t you see what happened in Sudan? you’ve forgotten what happened to Omar al-Bashir?”

“I haven’t. Obviously you have… what happened to him was a military coup supported by the Sudanese people.”

“And why isn’t Nigerians supporting ABARIBE?”

“SEE YOU! They have ooo! Go to twitter and Facebook. People are actually praising the man for speaking the minds of Nigerians. lol!”

“My friend I mean NIGERIANS!, real people and not the oppositions, or Facebook and Twitter people!!”

“Mtcheeew!…. one cannot win you in argument. Abegi.. let’s change topic biko..

“Wait, you hissed?”

“Ehn!… Or what does it sounds like?”

“It sounds like the ballistic missiles fired by IRAN to the US ARMY BASE in Baghdad that claimed no human casualty after much braggadocio from IRAN”

“So you mean that bomb claimed no lives?.. Na lie jhoor!, IRAN fired five of it oo. After declaring the end of days battle had started.

“My friend, you really didn’t followed up the news. You concluded so fast as a result your allowing social media to shape your thought on the issue. Trump had tweeted “…so far so well… No casualty recorded..” immediately aftermath the attack.”

“How do you mean wale?, That I allowed social media to shape my thought on the issue!. Don’t you know IRAN would have gone to a war full blown war with the US had it been US retaliated the reprisal!.

“Lol… And which combat-ready country declare an end of the days battle by merely unfurling a red flag on a mosque?. They sign papers and push buttons!”

“That TRUMP is just too controversial. From annoying Iran by killing one of its generals to denying of visa ban on Nigerians and five other nationals.”

“But I thought the presidency had said “…the suspension does not apply to other U.S visas such as those for official, business, tourism and student travel…” in its press release.

“So funny… Wale. And which type of immigrants goes to the US if not for a permanent stay owing to the situation of the country? Well except some politicians and business moguls going there as if there going to oyingbo from Ebutte meta?”

“Hahaha!…. Oyingbo to Ebutte meta. Thats just a seven minutes distance if you take a motorcycle o.”

“Not anymore.’

“What do you mean?”

“Haven’t you heard? That there’s okada and tricycle ban in some areas of Lagos state ‘ni’.”

“Chai.. I wonder what the operatives of such business would be eating. Not only that, what about lagosians? It will surely impede effective movement .”

“Well worry not, I trust our technocrats they will soon launch OTrek.”

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