Elombah
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Maintaining Order In These Other Rooms

This world is really more interesting with the advent of whatsapp and other social media, and all of these put together make for faster communication and information sharing. Recently, my college classmates got reconnected and for days running, the forum did not sleep as we tried to catch up on old times after some twenty four years in one, and twenty seven in another. The interesting thing about these particular college group chats or whatsapp rooms was that they were not the normal alumni meeting where people may not have met themselves in school, these were intimate class mates and the banters had no bounds! It really was so lovely to reconnect after those many years and the wonder of all that was how powerfully the brain could recall everything like it was just yesterday. In a particular case of a mixed school, one could appreciate all the confessions of “crushes” that never materialized because Obi had no liver back then in school only to become a man and wished things were different. There are now so many groups including church groups, current school class mates for those in adult education, parents kids school groups where information on home work is shared, close friends group at work, family  and all other kinds of groups one can think of.

With the so many groups come the sharing of information and jokes that get people glued to their phones for hours in an addiction that have ruined homes recently. It is interesting the amount of jokes available that I keep wondering who creates such interesting jokes, and always the next one will leave you giggling and before you know it another quote from “Mugabe” comes along to make you roll on the floor! And the sharing continues even as you see the same joke come around in the different rooms and people paste and run off to go do same in the next room before their other friends get there before them. While the jokes remain jokes, the information is also shared alike whether verified or not, some scaring people away from products in probably an attempt by competitors to de-market others. All the traffic puts so much pressure on people trying to catch up on happenings in the different rooms that some discipline is required to decipher what and when to comment on or follow any discussion thread.

So in the recent past, I have taken it as part of my busy body to ensure these rooms stay focussed on their core mandates! I recall looking at my baby at birth and thinking how cute she looked, I wondered at how she would soon grow and start fighting for her own space in this world and it didn’t take time before she proved me right. She made a point of reporting anybody that did not agree to her way to almighty daddy who would in turn make sure they all fall in line. Such was how I thought of myself when I got invited into a room I had no control over but was a stakeholder. Little did they know that I was “onye trouble.” I came in like a gentle dove and did not waste time before dragging for my space as I insisted on rules to guide the room that I just got invited to! But do you blame me? With the so many rooms I have to look for Aisha in, I need some decorum if I have to make progress. It wasn’t my first, I think I started the campaign in my church group room and I think a lot of people supported me and since then we have maintained our spirituality in that room even in the face of the temptation to post some so called unverified life threatening warnings that may just save a life!

With so many rooms to check out, it becomes necessary for every room to declare their missions and remain committed to those especially the specialized rooms such as church groups, school kids class teachers rooms, old students alumni rooms (not the intimate classmates ones). Even when some information out of the core missions must be shared, discretion should be the watchword. As mentioned in one of my busy body attempt in seeking for such order, we must realize that “with all these information you people are sharing”, one soon gets used to the barrage of pings that it becomes possible to miss a genuine and important information when such comes along.

Point made, we now focus on the “other room” scenario where Nigerians were quick to tell PMB how wrong he was after he asserted that Aisha belonged to the kitchen, the sitting room and the “other room.” ‘We all want to be seen to be politically and publicly correct’ was what I told one guy who was passionately narrating how we made a mistake  electing this guy because he said his wife belonged to the kitchen. I asked the guy who was going to go to the market that day to make food for the house and he was quick to answer “our maid.” At this I said we needed a different conversation on how he had replaced his wife with slave labour but was quick to make a point that PMB was wrong. In another room, I asserted that 98% of the homes in that room will have dinner that night made by their “madam” and no one contradicted me. I saw a similar conversation on facebook, a guy proudly posted how he also belonged to the kitchen with his wife because he was seen cooking. The only problem was that he held the supposed pot with bare hands (while the table cloth was by the hanger on the cooker) to show how knowledgeable he was about the kitchen! Oh hypocrites! When will we learn to “paste special” when we copy “Oyibo”? In all these, we did not take cognisance of the fact that “Aisha” also owns the sitting room. What happens in the sitting room? Is that not where the main dignitaries are entertained? Does that not suggest she is at same level with him as they are joint heirs to his throne? And by the way, there cannot be two captains in a ship and that does not mean the captain’s mate is demeaned in any way. And who told them where the other room is? For all I care, the other room is in New York and on Wall Street for that matter, it’s in Berlin, It’s in the Uk at 10 downing street, it’s in the BBC interview she already gave, meaning and showing she is empowered too.

That said, please in which ever room you find yourself, kindly keep to the rules so we can find Aisha in good time.

 

 

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