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Nigerian Structure: Fish Bone In The Neck ~ By Charles Dickson


Before going to bed, I had to eat something. I opened d fridge yes, all the food had turned to block; the light practically never goes off, so sometimes you just have to switch it off.

I finished eating went to bed. I woke up very early in the morning to the sound of classical music. I casually strolled into the bathroom.

Oh! The cold is too much this morning; I turned on the hot-water tap. Now shower is no longer just a bucket and a bowl…It really is a shower with water running the taps.

While toweling myself dry, I turned on the radio and heard the presenter speaking of how the new Nigerian president yesterday declared his assets and all he had to boast of was N20million and a bungalow in his village.

I finished dressing up and took a lazy breakfast. Minimal traffic, I am going to the office via the train this morning anyways.

It’s break at the office, I took a walk, saw a few policemen patrolling and I greeted them. Stopped to chat them up a few minutes after which I walked on laughing.

Later in the evening, I went out to play in the neighborhood, I saw Adamu Obinna discussing the recent trend in d country, of how Mallam Danjuma is now governor of Rivers state, Mazi Eze Nnanna is deputy governor in Borno state, Dr. Olu is now the governor of Ebonyi state.

Then I had a Mosquito bite on my nose, as I slapped my face. I woke up realized that I took large dose of cough syrup.

Was that Nigeria restructured, was it regionalized, was it a Christian, or Muslim state, was it Biafra, Arewa, or Rondel Republic?

Okay, I am from Plateau state, and the real issue aside from many little squabbles in the last General Elections was that we were not going to allow the Berom ethnic nation to continue the domination, eight years earlier it was the Musheres from Bokkos.

We argued and debated that there was a power sharing formula…bla bla bla; we restructured, brought same dudes who were there one way or the other. Today it’s “one-chance”.

In Benue, it is the Tiv versus the Idomas vs others, in Kogi it is the Igbiras versus Igalas, in some cases it has even degenerated to “denominational and sect wars”.

None of these debates has brought the much-needed development for a nation that is so structurally divided, and again what we all know is that those that can and also be; are afraid to Sit and Talk!

Because we are structurally deformed, we check how many SE, SW, SS (which by the way is an anomaly), NE, NW, NE are on a list before we check whether they are qualified.

We still suffer an Ebola-like disease called Federal Character in a characterless state, still plagued by terms such as catchment area, educationally disadvantaged (by who abeg).

We pride ourselves by our state of Origin, yet are minorities in many cases in the so-called state.

We debate which region is poorest, and which feeds the other. A nation of an elite and intellectual class that lacks critical thinking.

We keep amending our constitutions and reviewing them since forever, and having conference after conference.

The debate again is that the elite won’t allow for the restructuring, maybe because we do not have the benefit of war and we have experienced on countless occasions the futility of talk, we stay on our high horses and cry restructure like in that one pill is the local Yoruba “agbo” that cures all ailments.

We need a referendum so that restructuring can take place, or just a referendum, but when a nation cannot get its elections right, how can it conduct a sincere referendum?

I am still crying wolf despite the best of explanations. I cannot understand why all those people there are Muslims and the ones that are here are Christians.

I cannot understand why there are Muslims who are allowed to wear a Hijab, and Christians cannot wear Choir apparels to school. Would restructuring solve all these problems?

Will restructuring Nigeria make Rochas deal with the erosion that litters that road to his palatial country home in Imo state?

Or if Mr. Buhari completes two terms of four years each it will make Katsina the hub of technology in the north?

In sincerity have we really allowed the Federal structure to work, with bogus census figures and criminal politicians, is it about systems, structures or those that work it?

If today we have a feeding bottle federal fiscal structure, do we expect much difference or will it be a Seven-up case when we restructure?

The last talk-shop, went as far as recommending 50 plus states, all in the name of marginalization, who really is not marginalized, from the cruel mother-in-law that won’t let her daughter-in-law be, to the woman that terrorizes her husband, to the lecturer that teaches better with his third leg…

We are all victims of our current structure, albeit do we want to think or we just want a quick-fix, an ambulance solution?

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