Satire: Osinbajo, Tinubu On EFCC’s Freeze Of Benue Account
By Ikechukwu Emeka Onyia
VP : This people will put some of us in trouble ooo !
Asiwaju : Don’t mind those brainless boys around the government always giving opposition what to use to drive public sympathy .
VP : Imagine. why on earth would Magu freeze a state government account ? Where did this man get his power from ? From which law ?
Asiwaju : That should not be our problem . We should make sure that we draw red line for him . A red line he must not cross without our permission . And the red line is our interests especially South West ! He must not enter any South West State with his madness except who we want to fight there .
VP : But on the legal angle , Magu’s approach has violated set down rules . As a Professor of Law , I can state that Magu is running EFCC mostly from outside constitutional set up .
Asiwaju : Hahahahaha ! My dear , we are talking about Nigerian Politics and you are talking about law . In Nigeria , what you do in Nigeria is how to utilize default lines to your advantage . You kick only when it is against your interests . So the issue of legality can wait once our interests are protected within such illegality.
VP : Am not comfortable with this guy’s behaviour in that office . Just look at this Benue State mess again in the name of freezing Benue State account ?
Asiwaju : Let the guy be . It is good that he is behaving that way and also respecting our interests . This guy is under our control aburo ! Do you know if the next person will even listen to us if we replace Magu?
VP : What do we do on this note ? Now , the public is turning against us on this note . Even Nigeria Governors Forum headed by a governor from our party is also kicking against that .We are just coming out from DSS controversial siege on NASS.
Asiwaju : Call Magu to unfreeze Benue State account . So that , the public will again hail you like they did when you sacked DSS DG after the failed removal attempt on Senate leadership .
VP : How long will this continue ? The set of people heading our various security institutions are people that should not be near these institutions if we are serious.
Asiwaju : Don’t disturb yourself with that. Ours, like I told you, is to draw a red line for them which they must not cross !
The red line is that they must not enter Yoruba land with their madness without my instruction .
Politics is about interest .
VP : My image even as a pastor and also as a professor of Law is at stake.
Asiwaju : Who is talking about image here ? We are talking about our Interests .
Meanwhile , let’s keep our eyes on these Buhari men . Just leave the politics angle for Asiwaju of Africa . Watch and see how I will end up rounding Buhari boys to myself .
Already , South West is now the beautiful bride and we shall use the advantage to get more bargain for ourselves .
Anyone can head their police , EFCC , etc. , once they don’t near our red line !
VP : But …
Asiwaju : Eeh ! There is no but here ! Once President Buhari goes , we utilize the opportunity ! When he comes back , we adjust and keep our eyes on the ball ! This is Politics 101 .
Leave this game for me !
VP : OK then.
Asiwaju : Our Media Platforms are always ready to defend our interests and push our narratives .Don’t worry , I’m in charge .
VP : Should I sack IG of Police also especially before he ( Buhari ) returns ?
Asiwaju : No No !! Allow the controversy around the sack of DSS to die down first .
Mind you that Buhari boys are not happy about the Daura sack .So for now , pipe low .
VP : OK sir .But meanwhile , I have to see that Magu of a person .
Note : This is Satire from Onyia’s fiction note .
Ikechukwu Emeka Onyia ©2018
Abuja , Nigeria