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SATIRE: Saraki Must Go; As Osho Baba & Asiwaju Insist

Asiwaju : Mr Chairman , you must use your office to send Saraki packing and this is the best time for that.

Osho : But how do one even achieve that ? I hate the man as a person not to talk about seeing him as a Senate President that is even moving to another political party with our mandate .

Asiwaju : Good . First , use your office as a National Chairman to get all APC senators to commit into “operation remove Saraki project” .Then after that , we shall move to get some numbers from PDP senators .

Osho : But there are issues that we need to resolve first .

Asiwaju : Which are ?

Osho : Who replaces Saraki , how do we get 2/3 of the senators , how do we get some of PDP senators and how do we get media to back us ?

Asiwaju : Senator Lawal was who we projected before to be the Senate president before this son of Oloye of Ilorin and his collaborators  thwarted our scheme . So I believe that we should push Senator Lawal  to replace Saraki .

Osho : How do we get all APC senators to support this project, especially Lawal project ? What of PDP senators and 2/3 question ?

Asiwaju : Aaaaaah ! Very simple ! You are the party chairman , summon all APC Senators and inform them that anyone that refused to sign Saraki ‘s impeachment plan should forget APC Senatorial ticket for 2019 . With this , all APC senators will back the project. Then on PDP , I will discuss with Magu .

Osho : Media ?

Asiwaju : That is my constituency . Leave that for me . Media is standing by the side waiting for directions .

Osho : OK . Our party senators are already arriving for the meeting I have with them already .

Let me go and meet them .

Asiwaju : OK . Reach me after .

(After the meeting )

Phone Ring…

Osho : Hello Asiwaju of Africa .

Asiwaju : you are done with the meeting ?

Osho : Yes , but there is new development sir .

Asiwaju : What is that ?

Osho : Issue of who replaces Saraki .

Asiwaju : I thought we have concluded that ? I told you Senator Lawal choice has been constant since 2015 and yet to change .

Osho : Yes , you said so .I mentioned Senator Lawal and it divided our Party Senators into three .

Asiwaju : How ?

Osho : Some agreed on Senator Lawal , while some says that Adamu should be allowed for his audacious opposition against Saraki . Then , another group is calling for Godswill to be elected  due to his sacrifice .

Asiwaju : Who are those Senators !? How can anyone mention Adamu or even Godswill ? How can anyone think about handing Senate Leadership over to someone that just cross carpet yesterday or even Adamu? Please ! We can’t take such risk ! I am aware that two of them must have bribed most of our senators , but none of them will have it .

It is Senator Lawal or nothing ! You should insist on Senator Lawal and use all the forces in your disposal to push for that !

Osho : My fear is that with this division , we will not be able to achieve our target .

Asiwaju : See , you are elected for action ! You are not elected as a National Chairman for tea and bread! Take action ! Tell them that the party position is final !

Osho : From my investigation , some of these our Senators has personal relationship with Saraki and it will be very hard for them to vote against him .

I doubt if we can get the Constitutional required 2/3 needed for removal of Saraki .

Asiwaju : You must mobilize to remove him at all cost ! I said at all cost !!! You hear me Adams ?

Osho :  Yes , but what if we make the Senate ungovernable for him   , that is if we fail to remove him ?

Asiwaju : That is good suggestion . Yes , if we can’t get the required number of the Senators for his removal , then we make the Senate ungovernable for him and force him to resign !

Osho : My fear is that this approach can collapse our democracy if care is not taken .

Asiwaju : That is my fear too . Collapsing democracy will put some of us in danger in all angles .

But this Saraki must not be allowed to have peace that is if we fail to remove him .

Osho : How can we do this without endangering this democracy more ?

We are in a fix on this Saraki matter .

Asiwaju : Don’t worry , let me sleep over this first.I will find solution .I am Asiwaju of Africa !

Osho : OK .I will be waiting to hear from you . Because the option B which is making the Senate ungovernable for Saraki also need tactical plan and someone to lead on such moves .

Asiwaju : Yes , we can use that Senator from Delta that led Thugs that forcefully took away Senate Mace.

He will play a good role in making the Senate ungovernable for Saraki .

Osho : But that Agege of person will do a bad job for us and make Nigerians kick against us .We are likely to lose public sympathy with his tout mode of operation .

Asiwaju : That’s why he should be the candidate for such ! Making organization or an institution ungovernable is also about applying some levels of insanity. So, tout approach suit our  plan .

Osho : Hhhmmm OK .

Asiwaju : Just let me sleep over this first .

Note: This is Satire from Onyia’s Fiction note .

Ikechukwu Emeka Onyia ©2018; Facebook; Ikechukwu Emeka Onyia

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