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The Man We Are: Love is for children, don’t grow up


Each time I hear love, I wonder what it means. Loving someone is a strange feeling and sometimes people don’t really understand it and that is why they make mistakes today.

Just like a child falls in love with the mother especially and later with other people that are mostly around him, that is love. It is selfish and carters for only those in the heart. It is tender and thinks cool and soft of them, always without evil.

Many men say love is childish and something they will never want to venture into anytime any day. They often discourage their friends who are in love to wake up before a woman uses them. But how right are they?

Misunderstanding manhood

Some people think that being a man is being able to shout on a woman and control her. That is old fashioned. 

Some men still believe that their wife can only be kissed only on the bed. They see goodbye, welcome and goodnight kisses as sign of weakness and over attachment to the woman which will end up weakening the man.

They put their ego and selfishness first before their wives’ feelings. This type of men don’t often stay at home, they live in the bars and restaurants and in most cases their wives know little about their earnings.

They play dictators at home and woo betide their wives anytime someone wrongs them outside because when the aggression is transferred, it is usually doubled.

Some powers are not meant to be used 

Men should also come to understand that some powers are not meant to be used and talked about. Unless you fall in the arms of the wrong woman, you don’t need to tell her that you are in charge of the home. She knows. 

Screaming about it all the time shows you are losing the power or that you are not really playing your role as expected. The man is the man, he is the boss and he doesn’t have to tell anyone that he is.

Not trying to play with your wife and kids as expected because you believe it will make you weak, is very crazy. I played with my parents and still do till date. The truth still remains that when you are someone’s play mate, they can easily open up to you and would even be the first to tell you your flaws before they come to light.

Loving like children

Children are careless and play more than anything; that is how loving your woman should be. Love is like a book without a back cover because as long as you are ready to turn to the next page, you will always see something new.

Your wife should not only see you as an angel when you were trying to woo her, after which you will lock up and be like the ordinary guy she used to know.

What will happen if she wakes up to see a text message you sent by 2:00am telling her how beautiful she was while sleeping? Maybe that is crazy because you slept with her on the same bed but imagine the sweetness of the conversation when she tells her friends you watch over her at sleep and send an SMS about it.

Will the skies fall on earth if she goes to her jewelry box and finds something new; maybe with a tag like ‘something beautiful for my queen’.

If she is set for an occasion and you say: “Honey I don’t want you to wear this”, she will usually argue because they are good at that, but open a box and show her a set of beautiful clothes, shoes and bag all matching for the occasion. Just say: “Something special for a special woman on a special day”, that is what love is all about. Caring, surprises, and always having the courage to turn to the next page.

People are free to kiss without reasons, sometimes words are not needed. Tease her, flatter her and make her feel like she is living with her childhood friend. 

Did you have a childhood friend? S/he is usually that person you did crazy things with, call them childish like playing under the rain; playing mum and dad; digging holes at the backyard and all of it. That’s childish right? But is what love is all about. 

Always live in your childhood

Only children play as if it is an occupation. We should learn that. There is time for everything and every man should be working towards that. Men should stop being ‘stone cold’ because it is not what being a man is all about.

Men are human and so deserve to be happy, loved and cared for. But you can never expect anyone to do for you, when you are not ready to do for them.

Love is not only in movies, but in reality and every man will always have 24 hours and 365 days for a day and year respectively. You can either love, play and be happy with your own or sit on your miserable life, trusting more on a bottle of beer than the woman you married.

We need to keep loving and playing like children, because it is the man we are.

Chinedu Hardy Nwadike, chikisnow@yahoo.com | 08038704454 | Facebook/Twitter/Instagram: HardyNwa | BBM: 56226EE1

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