Take a fresh look at your lifestyle.

Why Every Husband Needs To Recapitalize – Obidike Peter


This is spot on, just the way I like it! (designed it), I exclaimed, as I mashed my tender looking, sweet potatoes with my fork, combining it with the chicken sauce prepared with green pepper and carrot, a dish only my “Iyawo” knows how to make for me. I had eaten mashed potatoes in a friend’s house, afterwards I modified or redesigned the recipe and gave my wife the basis for design. And as the interpreter she is, she was spot on! As I looked at her in admiration and thanksgiving, several thoughts came to my mind. First, was my mother in-law’s song “Obughi ma nwa? Onye ga enye m?” (if not for my child who will give me?) which I quickly paraphrased to “Obughi ma nwuye m, onye ga emere m?” (if not for my wife who will help me?).

The second thought was the one that got me scared! I said to myself, if this babe says she is walking out of my house now, I will be in serious trouble oh! Or say, the father comes and says he is taking his daughter away, “yawaa go burst for obiaruku” be that oh! It was just a thought but it triggered other thoughts; how we have grown close to each other over these years and the fact that I sure cannot do without her anymore. No wonder the thoughts about recapitalization, though in a positive sense not in the negative sense of the Nigerian stock market where crooked public company managers squander their companies funds only to come back to the stock market or banks forced to recapitalize to shore up shareholders funds. This recapitalization is the opposite, it is a case where the value has shot up the roof to the extent that it is now priceless and it has to be done proactively to show appreciation for the wonderful product my in-laws delivered, and their efforts in raising this princess.

And talking about value, the children God gave us are just an icing on the cake as there are so many areas one cannot help but be grateful for a help mate. “Ana azu nwanyi azu” (you train a woman) the Igbo’s will say but that is possible when you are lucky to have one that is amenable to listen and learn. The truth is, ninety eight percent of women and men are ready to listen and learn! I have always believed that human beings are good and responses are always reflective of stimulus, hence you can get the best of your mate. There are real bad people for sure when it comes to marriage and I have seen some but they are indeed in the minority.  An example of a bad person is anyone who beats the mate, whether woman or man, for there are women who beat their men. That is my number one reason for supporting divorce.

For petty people like me who are interested in their stomach, you will appreciate what it means to come the long way to the point where your partner knows exactly how you like your food made. Please do not blame me, I am not the author of the saying about the way to a man’s heart! I had posited the other day that it was “Oha soup” but some people took me to task. They asked whether my theory was universal and I gave them a reply that my position was based on an experiment carried out on my dining table based on facts available to me, so the context was clear. It is however possible that given different facts, like your own dining table for example, my “Oha” may turn out to be your “Edikaikon”.

There have been cases where I would conjure things in my head and deliver the design to her and she would interpret the design so excellently and  end up in love with the design more than me. Take for instance when I asked that some of the chaff (yes the chaff) from the ground coconut be added to the coconut rice. There was resistance but when done, that brought about a crunchy coconut rice that now gets everyone back to the pot after every first plate. Or the way I like my sandwich with lettuce, sliced cucumber, tomato and some mashed or sliced meat or chicken (in place of burger) to appeal to those of us that do not like vegetables but have to live healthy. To be clear, there have been instances of misunderstandings on patents of the designs but in all my “gragra”, I do not venture into the ministry of “soup” affairs because that one is on the exclusive list!

But do not be deceived into assuming that it is all rosy out here in marriage oh, “ana akukwa okpo here” (there is fight here oh); before you claim I did not tell you everything. But the reality is that, the sweetness outweighs the bitterness which is indeed in the minority just like the bad people are in the minority in this world only that they make the most noise.

My wife takes care of me but it is not a one way street because I believe (at least to myself) that I reciprocate and if not in anything else, at least in giving her less trouble in the house (and yes, men you have to do the same) otherwise she would not be this nice a person for me to write about. That gives me confidence and also confirms that my fears may be unfounded, hence no need to worry as she is here till death do us part. And yes, I sure need that recapitalization and so does every other married dude!

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