Why Nigerians must support my new bride come 16th February 2019 wedding day
I have gotten mixed reactions from the day I announced that I’ve found a new bride in Port Harcourt after the main opposition party had their national convention. Some said my new bride is a prostitute. They said she is after my money as if am not into her for something. Some said the way I have lamented about her hangers on suggest I have not made up my mind. The truth is that I saw her in her iniquity and loved her same way we cannot claim to be saints before we saw the light of righteousness. She is my latest bride and I am in love with her and will walk down the aisle with her come Saturday 16th February, 2019.
My new bride has “articulated” how he will solve Nigeria’s problems and I believe him. I believe him even more because of the choice of his chief bridesmaid, an intelligent babe otherwise known as “beauty with brains” that is the envy of all and nightmare of haters. The excellent way the chief bridesmaid presented herself and rolled out figures during the school debate got the opponents scared that they started shouting the figures were wrong without any attempt to provide the correct ones. It is not surprising given her performance in her last class that got her picked for this current role. But this town is one that abhors excellence even when so glaring. My new bride’s master plan for re-engineering this paradise has been shared. That master plan I believe is a product of years of painful work given his many trials at wooing me. On the other hand, my old wife quickly rolled out her own plans as if “odaraya na mberede” (came upon her suddenly) and quickly published same almost at the same time. I wondered what took her so long and not even rolling out “next level” this time will make me not go to the altar with my new bride. The last time I gave her a chance it took her six months to organise common house helps as if we suddenly stumbled into each other. Meanwhile, this was after she chased me for four good times.
My old wife is old and that is a fact that cannot be contradicted given her recent outings. In some occasions, she will say our house help is our gate man. In some others, she will say we are not yet married and only cohabiting. Yet in another, she will say we got married in 2005 instead of 2015. The occasions she exhibited these symptoms are so many that I cannot in clear conscience carry on as if nothing happened. Truth is, she needs some rest. In fact she needs lots of rest in the “other” room. It is shameful given that I shouldn’t be saying some things that are family matters, and I hate to wash my family linen in public. But I make this exemption for the sake of our common good; my old wife cannot last the night in the “other” room. I am a young man with so much energy and resources that I cannot be slowed down by an old wife simply because her friends want to continue enjoying the legacy she represents. The so called friends have vowed to do anything possible to ensure she remains the number one, even when they know her short comings. I am still wondering the type of friends these people are. I am convinced that none of them will let their own sister hang on to something she obviously is incapable of delivering.
And let’s be clear about things, she means well for the family and will remain family. I believe that my new bride will also take care of her when she comes. She will make the house so comfortable that my old wife will start wondering why she did not invite her in long before now.
My new bride is ready, everything is set and it is going to be a bash. Just can’t wait babe!
Obidike Peter wrote from www.peterobidike.com and firstname.lastname@example.org
Tuesday 5th February, 2019.