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Why Your Wife May Commit Adultery [Must Read For Busy/Absentee Husbands]

By Anayo Nwosu



With the destruction of the traditional control structure by civilisation, some vices which hitherto were latent or at worst done secretly are now an issue of major concern in Igbo land.

Many married women are now competing with men in brazen adultery.

In a traditional Igbo society, men were allowed to have multiple sex partners by way of polygamy or an iko. But the wife is not allowed to have sex with any other man other than her husband or her husband’s approved iko.

In some communities where the iko system is not allowed, the women could only have sex with their husband. There were very dire consequences for an adulterous act by a wife which ranges from serious illness (to her and her husband, revealed upon enquiry by a diviner) to outright madness of the woman.

The potent Igbo deities that had been used to put fear in the citizenry have either been overpowered, rendered ineffective or have fled from their shrines.

Some overzealous youths in many Igbo communities have also “prayed out” the gods and destroyed their temples. So, things have “fallen apart and the centre can no longer hold”.

The truth is that wives’ whose sexual needs are not met are not fulfilled. They are in lack but may choose to remain in denial due to the influence of religion, home training, culture and fear of being caught. But some women are bold enough to procure a stop-gap.

Reasons why a wife commits adultery

Below are some of the identified factors that could make a woman wilfully sleep with another man:

  1. PROLONGED ABSENCE OF HUSBAND FROM HOME: The exigencies of today’s business have made very rich men to travel a lot and may be away from home for weeks.

Either they have gone for meetings or had to monitor quality or shipment of their goods abroad. A rich man may be away from his home for more than 5 weeks in a stretch.

Earlier in the marriage, the husband might travel along with a clingy wife but not when kids have started coming. Child care, housekeeping and other maternal requirements may make it impossible for a man to always take along his wife while on a long business trip.

The woman may be responsible for the management of the local business. The man might call always but that does not replace his physical presence.

In the man’s absence, the SERPENT might come to deceive the wife. This happened to Eve in Adam’s absence. It is from the bible account that the serpent had a long discourse with Eve and had made Eve eat the forbidden fruit before Adam returned.

A master Casanova could invade the house of an absentee husband and open her eyes. He may even arrive when the woman is on heat. That which started as a close friendship would turn into a raving sexual activity. The woman would feel guilty at the first occurrence but would then be asking for it if the guy did it better than the owner.

The wife could decide to be careful by promoting one of the husband’s staff, aide or senior apprentice to her alternate lover. The chosen is usually privileged and openly praised for hard work and steadfastness by Madam in front of Oga.

  1. POTIPHAR’S WIFE FACTOR : The bible recounts the attempt of the wife of a busy official in Egypt to use Joseph to augment whatever sex she got from her husband.

Some men are so engrossed with their work to the detriment of their wife’s sex needs. They return home tired. They even fall asleep at the dinning table only to leave house very early the next day. These men are very loved by their employers and enjoy promotions.

The wife under this circumstance looks around her for sexual satisfaction.

  1. AGEING HUSBAND: Biology reveals that a man’s libido and ability to satisfy his wife decreases with age. Conversely, the woman’s libido and need for sex increases with age up to and even beyond menopause.

Therefore, as a man gets older, he loses the capacity to make his wife achieve orgasm. The wife needs him to do more but this is beyond the husband’s abilities. There is an extent to which Viagra can go.

A 50 year old man who marries a 20 year old wife is just on an ego trip.

  1. SHARP DROP IN SEXUAL PERFORMANCE: For reasons ranging from medical to economic pressure, a man may suddenly become unable to satisfy his wife in bed. It may manifest as quick ejaculation, slacking of the penis as soon as it rises and an ineffectual strength.

A woman who has found herself in this conundrum feels so sad especially when all medical and psychological treatments have failed to resolve the problem. No amount of wealth and good nature of the husband can cover the wife’s misery.

Some men ask a good friend or a brother to fill in the gap for him or ask the wife to choose anybody who she shouldn’t invite home and to keep the affairs discreet.

  1. OKAFOR’S LAW: This statement applies to guys mostly. It holds that if a man has been involved with a girl for a period of time and did a good job in and out of the bedroom, the belief is that the man can always go to the girl at any given time and sleep with her again no matter what situation arises (breakups, different lover, etc.)

Some women would naturally be given to the sexual overtures of this their former boyfriend even though they are happily married.

A man should discourage any form of closeness between his wife and a former boyfriend even if the man is now a pastor. She should flee from this temptation.

Should the husband be unfortunate to be performing in bed at levels far below what the wife who was used to an electrifying performance with former electrifying lover, the woman would always long for a re-enactment of the fire she was used to.

In a psychological makeover, the wife, in bed with her husband, imagines that she is making love to her former exceptionally good boyfriend; that’s the only way she would reach orgasm. Many men had slapped their wives while in bed for calling them another man’s name in the heat of the moment.

  1. DEPRAVITY: Fantasy and unbridled sexual imagination could make a woman want to bring to reality her sexual cravings. Some married women sometimes, imagine how their husband’s friends, colleagues in the offices would be like in bed. They may go a step further to seduce the willing victims and sleep with them.
  2. NYMPHOMANIA: There are some women who due to no fault of theirs can never be satisfied by even a man with a stallion strength. It is a psychiatric case.

Wise husband of this kind of wife speedily harvests his children and leave the woman to find a regulated satisfaction before the man joins his ancestors while trying to satisfy the wife.

  1. ABANDONED WIFE: Some men have so dehumanised their wife through abuse and openly flaunting their concubines and baby mamas.

These women mostly obessed and out of shape sometimes meet some men who derive pleasure in catering for the sexual needs women in this category. They can also derive financial benefits for their little assistance.

Technological succour

Following the implications of a scandal that will greet an exposure of an extra-marital affair, some women with supplementary sex needs now find succour in sex toys.

These sex toys also known as vibrators come in various sizes and length depending on the needs of the women. Some vibrators are powered by battery while others can be plugged directly to electricity for power an intensity.


There is a correlation between the possibility of a wife committing adultery with the availability of her husband.

An absentee husband of a sexually active wife shares in the blame for his wife’s illicit sexual acts. A man can lose his loving his wife in pursuit of great wealth.

When next you blame the wife of a rich man accused adultery, just know that it was not entirely her fault.

Genesis 2:18 clearly stated the purpose why God created a woman as reproduced :

{Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”}

If a man leaves his life and goes away for so long, the devil in form of another man may come and deceive his wife, and the effects may even define the destiny of the man himself .

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